Personal

What can we do?


Crimes against women have been a part of this country’s history, lately. Not just our country, almost everywhere do we see women being the victim and man testing her patience beyond limits. One can never put the blame on just men alone. There are patriarchal women too. Women who believe that it is completely okay to be abused by a man, maybe not a stranger but the man she “belongs” to.

Yes, surprising. But true. For a long time, our society has recognized man as the superior species, the stronger ones. They would provide for us, protect us. In return, we’d respect them, to the point of almost worshiping them. Of course, one can vehemently argue that not all men are derailed tyrants but surely, most are till stuck to their cavemen perception?

It has almost become a trend to outrage online, write blogs, march around the city with candles, in the name of ‘protesting’ against any act of sexual violence against women, then display rage at the forever unresponsive government officials & subsequently make fun of any statement, if made, by any one on the same topic. No, I’m not saying anything against these means as I myself have committed such acts (not follies, no).

What angers me is that there seems to be no real outcome, or even a response to such acts. Eventually, the rage dies down and people forget, except the victims. Except us. Women. And our parents. That should be a lot, right? Except, what we remember is not what we should. The victims remember their helplessness, the humiliation and the absence of justice. We women remember our vulnerability and how we lack the courage to help ourselves. Yes, we don’t know what to do. It might seem highly intelligent, carrying a pepper spray or even a pocket knife. But let’s face it, they won’t help if a group of men surround you in the middle of nowhere.

Parents, on the other hand, remember their place in the society and the consequences. Most are too scared about their daughters. They remember the humiliation the victims face.

But, we don’t remember enough. The long list of victims become a blur and we put them in a box. And forget.

If you are looking for anything in my post, don’t. This is a piece of rambling. From a woman who’s too scared to even hug her male friends, not sure if they will assault her not. A woman who is panicking, constantly telling her friends, “Be careful” just so that they can assure her that they will return, safely.

I’m a daughter constantly reassuring my parents that I’m safe and that I WON’T go out late at night, won’t take a cab on my own, won’t react if someone leers or teases me in public, that I won’t provoke any man’s wrath on me.

WHY? Because, the society deems them mightier. Don’t blame them. We women do enjoy being pampered, simpering to our boyfriends/husbands, letting them treat us the way they want to, so as to keep them happy. Men have seen women bend to their will. Mothers have taught their daughters to keep quiet to avoid conflicts, sons have grown up seeing their mothers fulfilling almost all of their fathers’ wishes without a single protest. The government has seen the lack of any real threat from their society. We women have seen the lack of justice when we seek it.

Who do you blame? What do you do? I blame all. I blame you too.

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5 thoughts on “What can we do?

  1. Saheli, this is prasad out here. Today, I am sorry for the heinous act committed by scores of men on women. I am sorry for belonging to a sex that only sees its opposite as a piece of flesh, and nothing else.
    To be honest, I am as thick-skinned as most men under the sun, but today– I feel ashamed, numb and sorry.

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